A single man

17 10 2011

Before Katie came alone, I was a bachelor for a long time. And I was pretty good at, if I do say so myself.

I kept my place tidy. I washed dishes; no dishwasher for me. I ate my vegetables. I did laundry.

Oh sure, there were vices. Like having a whole tub of Haagen-Dazs to myself. And eating hot dogs for lunch, or barbecued pork tenderloin for dinner. Sometimes I treated myself to takeout from Swiss Chalet.

Hot dogs and a kosher dill is a rare lunch treat.

Then Katie came along. She threw my life upside down (in a good way, of course). She banned me from doing laundry, an edict I still have trouble with. Apparently the colors and darks are supposed to be separated from whites. And everything should be washed in cold water. Who knew?

I now have to share my Haagen-Dazs. Although that’s probably better for me in the long run.

Katie wants nothing to do with hot dogs, despite my insistence that a simple dog with mustard, accompanied by a kosher dill pickle, is the lunch of the gods. She also doesn’t like pork; she says she doesn’t like the way it smells. And ever since we had a mediocre experience at a Swiss Chalet before going to a movie when we were dating, my shadow is no longer allowed to darken their doorway.

So when Katie spent this past weekend in San Francisco, running half of the Nike Women’s Marathon with some of her running friends, I was thrust back into my bachelorhood.

How did I celebrate cope? Carousing and drinking at the pub with my buddies? Endless afternoons of uninterrupted NFL football and packed evenings of NHL hockey on TV? Dancing girls?

No way.

I whooped it up bigtime. I did laundry! Although I did separate the colors and used cold water. I ate hot dogs for lunch, pork for dinner and Haagen-Dazs for desert! Although not every day. I got takeout from the Swiss Chalet! Only once, I swear!

Back to the debauched single life, doing laundry...

...barbecuing pork tenderloin...

...and indulging in Swiss Chalet takeout!

Katie’s back, just in the nick of time to save my waistline.