Fashion forward

I’m not sure whether the neighbor was in shock or awe when he said, “wow, everything matches,” as I was departing the condo for my ride this evening.

I do match.

When I got my Orbea in Euskaltel team colors circa 2003, I set out to source a proper Euskaltel jersey. It wasn’t an easy find back then, but I’ve now got three, in various shades of sun-bleached orange.

Not everyone can get away with wearing bright orange. Seems I can.

It's important to look good on a ride. To make sure, make friends with large expanses of glass along your route.

It doesn’t hurt that it’s also a very practical color for a roadie; no driver has any excuse they couldn’t see me even on the brightest day.

Let’s face it, looking good is part of the fun of being a roadie. All those kilometers tend to sculpt our legs, so we shave ’em to better show them off.

Our tight shorts tend to show off other, er, attributes. Although shorts of the wrong color, like white or yellow, can show off too many attributes. Ugh.

We favor bright, tight kits to stand out on the road. We complete the look with a sleek helmet and styling sports sunglasses.

Who amongst us hasn’t glanced over to check our “form” when passing a large picture window? I thought as much.

In the pro peloton, I’d have to give the stylin’ award to Team Sky. Their black, white and blue kits are simple but stand out immediately from the rest of the pack. And putting the riders names on the sides is a stroke of genius I hope other teams will quickly adopt.

Team Sky is the class of the pro peloton.

The worst is one of this year’s wild card teams invited to the Tour de France, Footon-Servetto. The uninspired color scheme makes these unfortunate guys look like rolling turds in the peloton. And their fashion faux-pas is compounded by opting for light-colored shorts.

What were they thinking??????

It should be against the law for anyone to wear cycling shorts of a lighter hue. It’s at least against the laws of decency.